This, folks, is the famous scene in which Jeff and Jody fight about bagels. It finally "boils" down to these arguments: Jody tells Jeff, "Well, I'm just tellin' ya: baking has nothing to do with how they're cooked. They boil the water in a big vat and the water cooks the dough while it floats." But Jeff proclaims, "That would be poaching! You don't poach dough. They're not called poachels; they're called bagels. They're baked, get it?"	After the fight, we learn that they're in a tent for an informal chapel service for all circus staff, led by John. John asks for prayer requests, and boy does he get them. Mongo says he wants John to "ask God to knock some sense into that shiny foreign head of yours and get us a ring master who at least speaks American."
Sack (of the clown duo Hack and Sack) wants John to put in a good word with the Man Upstairs for his lotto numbers.	Duncan, who has been amen-ing after each request, is suddenly distracted by the people giving the next prayer request.
Meet Carlene and her twin-sister Darlene. They explain that they've always wanted to start a chapel like this one, but were too shy. They want to thank God for answering their prayers and giving them another chance to do what they love. Duncan says, "Thanks, Darlene" when they're done, which the twins hear as "Thanks, Darling." Duncan insists that he didn't say "darling."	Jeff: "I thought he said 'darling' too." The twins decide to chalk it up to his accent, which "kinda sounds like James Bond."
Which thrills Duncan no end.	Phil joins them just before the prayer. While heads are bowed, Phil makes his way to the buffet table and it met by Sack, who wants Phil to do a job for him at midnight. Sack points out that Phil is on the milk carton as a missing person and makes thinly-veiled threats about turning him in.
Phil reluctantly agrees to the chore.	At midnight a black car pulls up to a rest area where Phil is waiting. Two little people get out of the car and speak with him. The guy on the right is Ralph Kearney, President, Local 241, Little People's Performers Union.
At one point Ralph's body guard, Rocco, pulls a gun on Phil, but luckily enough it's just a novelty cigarette-lighter.	Phil hands over Ralph's merchandise, which comes from Sack. It reads, "Dear Munchkin, get a real job. Sack." Phil then makes the horrible mistake of referring to Sack as "little." Ralph is upset by this and declares that Sack is just "a nasty short guy who lied on his resume, who clawed his way to the middle of the circus world by stepping on the true little people!" Ralph vows to shut down the circus for hiring "short guy scabs."
Phil is confused about the difference between "little" and "short." Rocco shows him the difference by delivering a rather awkward-looking kick to the shin.	"That didn't even hurt!" Phil exclaims. And that's the point. Little people never hurt anybody.
The next day, back at the circus, it's time to train the Newsies in clowning around. The punch...	...and the results (after John spits out his teeth).
WHAM!	Ewww. As Hack instructs, "Let's stick with water because the blood is frankly gross."
Now for a team effort. Duncan knocks the hat off of Jody's head. Jody bends down to pick it up. Once Jody is crouched down:	WHAM! Ladder to face! But Duncan winced ever-so-slightly just before the ladder hit him in the face. "I was trained as a method actor and I guess I lost my motivation."
And finally, that classic clown stunt: the cream pie.	Peter's pretty good at it, but he's making a mistake that even a lot of pros make: he's licking too soon.
After a few more pies, Peter has finally learned to delay his licking. "One Mississippi and lick."	Jeff asks if the pie-licks and the teeth-spitting will be part of the test. "Are you doing this for a grade?! You will be graded, but are you doing this for a grade?!" It doesn't go over well and degenerates into Hack suggesting that Jeff doesn't care about little kids on dialysis.
Peter wants to know if they can study the video that's always being shot of them. But no, that video is not for study purposes.	It's recording every second of Hack's life in the hopes that he will catch something on tape worthy of "America's Wackiest Home Video Show."

The clowning is going well enough, I suppose, but five clowns a circus does not make. Can they possibly be ready in time?! Find out in exciting page three!